


Almost Is Never Enough

by NeneDiallo



Series: Teen Wolf Love Songs [1]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-23
Updated: 2015-02-23
Packaged: 2018-03-14 19:26:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,583
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3422813
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NeneDiallo/pseuds/NeneDiallo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Lydia pushed Stiles off of a swing in the third grade she did not think this one, childishly barbaric behavior would have struck up his love for her, but it did.</p><p>When she had thrown out the valentine the too-ecstatic-to-be-normal kid had sent her, she did not think he would keep on making new ones, but he did.</p><p>When she had continuously ignored each and every one of his attempts to get her to notice him, she did not think she’d regret that one day, but she did.</p><p>And finally when he admitted he would have gone out of his freaking mind if she died, Lydia didn’t think she’d ever feel the same away about the boy covered with thousand moles, but boy she did.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Almost Is Never Enough

**Author's Note:**

> A drabble gone too long inspired by 'Almost Is Never Enough" by Ariana Grande and Nathan Sykes. I kinda hate myself for writing it, so I apologize in advance. As always feedback is very welcome :)

When Lydia pushed Stiles off of a swing in the third grade she did not think this one, childishly barbaric behavior would have struck up his love for her, but it did.

When she had thrown out the valentine the too-ecstatic-to-be-normal kid had sent her, she did not think he would keep on making new ones, but he did.

When she had continuously ignored each and every one of his attempts to get her to notice him, she did not think she’d regret that one day, but she did.

And finally when he admitted he would have gone out of his freaking mind if she died, Lydia didn’t think she’d ever feel the same away about the boy covered with thousand moles, but boy she did.

The unthinkable happened somewhere in between the pack of homicidal alphas and evil japanese spirits, or in between Boyd and Erica and Allison and Aiden. Or maybe it was happening ever since she pushed him off that swing.

To be honest, Lydia still, till this very day, doesn’t know what it was that opened her heart for Stiles, all she knows is that suddenly he was no longer _a Stiles_ , he was _the Stiles_ and a blink of an eye later he became _her Stiles_. Her Stiles, that made her finally understand the love Allison described to her, because she really couldn’t breathe when he wasn’t by her side.

It seemed that after all those years, the strawberry blonde and the brown-haired boy would finally be together, but that didn’t happen.

Why?

Well that one, just like the remaining 99%, was on the banshee. Lydia Martin was nothing if not bold and fierce, but both the boldness and the fierceness disappeared completely whenever it came to her feelings. And when it came to her feelings concerning the Stilinski boy Lydia felt more vulnerable than ever. So that was why she stayed quiet and that was why Stiles got together with Malia.

As much as it hurt Lydia to look at the werecoyote taking the spot next to Stiles, taking _her spot_ , the redhead did appreciate the fact the young Hale did make Stiles happy.

However, that did not stop her from seeing  Malia as Stiles’ Aiden, or Jackson because Stiles didn’t really do Aidens. It was a relationship and there were feelings and maybe even love, but that wasn’t _the love_. It wasn’t the Noah and Ally kind of love, if wasn’t the Allison and Scott kind of love so it was bound to end one day. It was inevitable.

And, like the genius she was, Lydia Martin was right. Stiles’ relationship with the werecoyote lasted five months. Five months and a week to be painfully exact and then it was it. No more Stiles and Malia.

But, like the wishful thinker she was, Lydia Martin was also wrong. She had naively assumed that when Stiles’ heart would not be preoccupied by Malia, he would find back the part of him that had loved her since the third grade.

Who knows, maybe he did, but that did not stop the odds from separating their paths. Separating them, but not before letting them briefly meet, only to make it more painful.

The most painful part was, and still is, that they almost got there.

There were again research parties (god, she’d missed those), studying together and after couple weeks even movie nights. During one movie night there was also sleeping together. No, not _sleeping_ sleeping, just sleeping, but with Stiles at her side using ‘just’ seemed like an offence. It was the best sleep Lydia had ever experienced.

Even now, she remembers waking up, wrapped up in Stiles’ arms, wearing one of his hoodies. She’s still haunted by the feeling of his chest underneath her head, of his steady heartbeat thudding in her ears, of the way he was whispering her name.

She’s also haunted by the scream that had torn both his and her heart out that day.

She remembers the look on Stiles’ face when she screamed for his father. The  disbelief in his eyes, because his father couldn’t be dead, the tears falling from his eyes, the shattered breaths she felt against her neck as she held him like his life depended on it, and maybe in that moment it did.

She couldn’t forget it.

She’d never forget.

Just like she’d never forget Sheriff’s funeral and the grave next to the one which belonged to Claudia Stilinski or the first six months after John Stilinski’s death.

They were a darkness, a darkness that was slowly consuming Stiles and she didn’t know how to help him so she simply stayed at his side, caressing his hair to help him fall asleep, waking him up from the nightmares, helping him hold his breath during the panic attacks and letting him cry on her shoulder when he couldn’t deal with the pain any longer.

After six months something changed.

Stiles changed.

Because of her, because of Melanie Brown.

The blonde girl had moved to Beacon Hills with her mom who was, not so surprisingly, another substitute teacher at the high school. Melanie, however, wasn’t, much to Lydia’s and the entire pack’s surprise, drawn to the god forsaken town. She wasn’t, because she was human, as human as it was possible.

Now, that Lydia thinks about it, it was that, that probably made Stiles feel safe around her. After everything they’d been through normality was something incredibly valuable and much desired and Mel was the epitome of normal, whereas Lydia was the antonym of that.

She knew Stiles did accept every single part of her, yet somehow she felt that he was with Melanie because it wasn’t her scream that made a part of him die. Melanie meant moving on from the pain of the past and she was a constant reminder of it.

Lydia accepted that, at least she tried to do so, because Stiles seemed better when he was with Melanie, he didn’t look that broken anymore and she was grateful for that. But then, there was the everlasting pain in her chest, heartbreak.

She ignored it until Scott had informed her that Stiles and Melanie were moving out of Beacon Hills. It was that pain in her chest which made her run into Stiles’ house, interrupting his packing and tell him everything.

Every single thing. She started with an _‘I love you’_ and then there was  an _‘I’ll go out of my freaking mind without you’_ and one _‘I can’t breathe when you're not with me'_ and also _‘You are my best friend, Stiles’_ and many other things, but at the end there were just bittersweet tears. Sweet because her confession was answered with an _‘I love you, I always have’_ of Stiles, bitter because it was shortly followed by a _‘but I can’t do this. I’m sorry Lyds, but I can’t’_.

She started sobbing against her own will and when he took her in his arms she wanted to run, run for his sake and her own, but she couldn’t and she didn’t.

She stood there, shaking in his arms, until his lips found hers in a desperate, hungry kiss. The first kiss was quickly followed by another, and then another one and yet another one.

Soon they were not standing but lying in his bed, their naked bodies moving against each other in a rhythm she found both soothing and agonizing. She knew she cried and she felt his own tears on her collarbone and she knew this was not a beginning, but a goodbye, so when they finished she simply put her clothes on and left, but not without whispering a quiet ‘I love you’ one more time.

Lydia hadn’t seen Stiles for three years since that day. She had moved out from Beacon Hills because she couldn’t stand the town without Stiles, her Stiles in it. She’d started studying medicine because she had decided a banshee couldn’t just announce deaths and ruin people’s lives with her screams, no Lydia wanted to help, really help. So again, it was science and studying and keeping herself busy that kept her going. Occasionally she’d see Scott and Kira, sometimes Malia and sometimes even Derek. She’d also become friends with deputy Parrish, who was all of a sudden Jordan to her, but she hadn’t seen Stiles.

She’d heard from him on every birthday and every Christmas but that was it.

More than a thousand days later, here she is standing in the first row, in a small church in New Heaven, hearing the priest reach the part of his speech revolving around objecting. She almost stands up and says ‘I object’. She almost runs up to him, throws her arms around his neck and kisses him like she wants to’. She almost tells him ‘I love you Stiles Stilinski, you are and will always be the love of my life’

She almost does all these things, but then she sees the way his chestnut eyes somehow find hers and she sees the silent plea. The silent plea she’s seen when he picked her up from the airport, the same she encountered when they were suddenly standing so close their lips were almost touching.

So she remains where she’s standing, quietly watching her final chance fly by.

At the wedding reception, she watches Stiles and Melanie have their first dance and she can’t help but think that they almost had it all.

But almost is never enough.


End file.
